Views from Fiona: Why I Think Women Are More Deceitful Than Men

Views from Fiona: Why I Think Women Are More Deceitful Than Men


Fiona reflects on Uganda's changing society.

By Fiona Abaasa
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First published: August 6, 2005


Human nature forces people to lie for specific purposes depending on circumstances. At times, lying between spouses is healthy to keep a relationship afloat. However, sometimes lies can become second nature to an individual. The worst-case scenario is when the liar actually masters the craft and begins to believe his or her own lies as truth.


In fact, I believe, habitual lying can be traced in family lineage. You think this sounds far-fetched? Arthur, a cousin of mine, is a typical habitual liar. So are his dad and his sisters. When he fabricates a lie, he sometimes forgets the details of the actual event that he is embellishing. He also forgets that the people he tells lies to were sometimes with him when the exaggerated story he explains happened.

I also believe that women are more deceitful than men. Have you known a woman who tells her lover, '"Darling don't you believe me?" That should be a red flag. And if you believe the lie she is trying so desperately to get you to swallow, you have opened the way for many more -- and greater -- lies to come.

Karen, a colleague of mine, was dating three guys at one time. She worked out an efficient timetable for dealing with each one. This went on for some time until all three of them grew suspicious. Tired of the burden of juggling three men at a go, and the web of deceit she was weaving, she finally got the courage to untangle the web. But she did it in the ugliest way. Karen went to Bamboo Nest, a watering hole in Bugolobi, a suburb of Kampala, and called each of them to meet her there. The guys, unknown to the one another, warmed up to the idea of spending some quality time with her.

When they all arrived, she mustered enough courage and told them they were all her boyfriends, and so they should sort themselves out. Two of them left, hurling insults at her, and the third stayed to inquire why she did such a thing. She was direct in her answer: It was fun at the time.

It is also common for a woman to give a baby to another guy when a relationship goes sour. Some women will pick another partner quickly, knowing they are pregnant, and decide to bestow the responsibility of the child on their "new catch." Often times, the guy will unwittingly lend his name and material support to the raising of the child who is not biologically his. There are two prominent families in Uganda who share a child who was conceived in this way. On the child-in-question's wedding day, she had two dads to choose from and chose the one who raised her as her biological father was more or less a stranger to her.

The mobile phone phenomenon has exacerbated deceit in relationships. We've all been out there at one time or another, in a taxi or matatu, when we've overheard men and women tell blatant lies to their lovers. Once I witnessed a lady get a call on her cell phone while we were coming from Muyenga suburb. Without missing a beat, she told the caller; "Honey, the bus has got a mechanical problem. We will be leaving Mbarara late."

Liars delude themselves. They feel they can't be caught and their overconfidence regularly lets them down. An English saying comes to mind: "Good liars have superb memories." And believe you me, if you possess a cockroach memory you have no business telling tales that will get you caught in your nefarious act.

By Fiona Abaasa
more from author >>
First published: August 6, 2005
Fiona Abaasa is a visitor of UGPulse.com.

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