Views from Fiona: When Women Stalk Men
Hunters become the hunted: A trio of young Ugandan dudes relax.

Views from Fiona: When Women Stalk Men


By the time he noticed that something was amiss, Kate had started making unexpected appearances at functions he attended.

By Fiona Abaasa
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First published: September 20, 2007


While stalking has often been known to be masculine, tables have been turned by the sisters and they too have started stalking men. As with everything women do, they have perfected stalking reason enough for the former hunters to be worried; they are now the hunted! Often, women are ignored as formidable opponents and here, brothers, is where you get it all wrong. Once a woman puts her mind to doing something, she will not rest until she achieves it; whether it involves stalking the man, she desires or not.


Stalking refers to repeated harassing or threatening behavior by an individual, such as following a person, appearing at a person's home or place of business, making harassing phone calls, leaving written messages or objects, or vandalizing that person's property. According to the U.S. Department of Justice Office for Victims of Crime (OVC), stalking is anti-social behavior that leads to obsessive attraction to a person. A recent study by the National Institute of Justice found that stalking was far more prevalent than anyone had imagined; 8% of American women and 2% of American men will be stalked in their lifetimes. That is 1.4 million American stalking victims every year. Whereas stalking is offensive and can lead to violence, often times the stalked person encourages the stalker unknowingly by trying to fend them off kindly.

Do not be fooled by statistics. It is true that women are more likely to be stalked than men. However, lately men have been getting their fair share of this nasty vice. It is a known fact that usually, the stalker and the stalked have been in an intimate relationship before and one cannot let go or are colleagues at work or the odd person they meet once in a blue moon, unaware that he/she keeps tabs on their goings and comings. Celebrities get stalked often; the more fame you have, the more people want or feel a personal connection with you. Hocus-pocus, you have a stalker on your tail!

Stalkers feel an emotional attachment to their victims and will do anything to reach the ones the feel strongly attracted to. Kate (not real name) met Josh Nkata, a highflying career gentleman at an end of year party thrown by Josh's company. She was invited along by Margaret, her buddy, and after Josh giving a thank you speech, she made sure they got in contact, talked, exchanged numbers and the evening ended. Little did Josh know that Kate was keg powder waiting to be ignited. It started with harmless phone calls. Then the calls became weird, coming at odd hours with Kate demanding to see him. Josh ignored the early signs. By the time he noticed that something was amiss, Kate had started making unexpected appearances at functions he attended. An odd weekend in Jinja had him frown.

Kate was becoming desperate. How she got information about Josh is a marvel in itself. When Josh's brother was getting engaged, he threw a small party and as you have guessed, Kate made an appearance and decided a double engagement would be in order. She proposed to Josh, with his small, tightly knit family as witnesses. They all laughed it off and that really pissed Kate off. She went to his office with a loaded pistol and threatened to shoot him and herself if he did not get on his knees and propose to her in the office. Emotionally, Josh got a rather huge scald and says it will take him years to heal. How he survived the ordeal is a story for another day.

Stories like Josh's happen but most are not reported. In recent times, this trend has increased as women learn to use their subtle powers to seduce men. Stalking stories vary in terms of the victims but it has been known for some cases to go extreme and literary end in violence. In Uganda, there is no strong law against stalking. Perhaps the country has more grappling problems than stalking to enact laws for it. However, in the western world, movie stars, singers and other celebrities have been harmed or murdered by their obsessed fans.

Stalking is a real issue that should neither be ignored nor reveled in. It could turn dangerous. Men, drop that macho stuff for that pretty sister who always smiles at you at the bar and seems to find the places where you hang out. She has more than a trick or two up her sleeve!

By Fiona Abaasa
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First published: September 20, 2007
Fiona Abaasa is a visitor of UGPulse.com.

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